[this rant represents the first one i wrote regarding the season of Lent and was originally published in ON THE VERGE v1.0 e-mail monthly on April 7, 1999. believe it or not, i gave up music for Lent one year. while my rules aren't nearly this strict as of late, i still continue with the idea of no music purchases between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday.]

strung out

Vic just shook his head in disbelief. "You have GOT to be kidding me." But my mind was mind up. This was something that I had to do for myself.

Ash Wednesday had arrived and my mom called me at work to remind me. She asked me what I was going to give up for Lent. I didn't know. When I thought about it, however, I knew what I had to do.

Some give up meat or cigarettes. Others alcohol or swearing. I knew that whatever I decided to give up had to be a real sacrifice for me. That's when it hit me: music. My strung out junkie-like addiction to music would be the very thing.

I always have music playing no matter what I'm doing, so this was going to be a challenge. And as much as I use music for therapeutic purposes, I use it as a diversion and a tool of procrastination often. One ought not to abuse music like that (or deceive themselves, for that matter). So I made up some rules to follow for six days out of the week. Sundays were the obvious exemption. Here's what I came up with:

• ABSOLUTELY NO MUSIC PURCHASES UNTIL EASTER SUNDAY.
  This excluded anything I had ordered prior to Ash Wednesday and any promotional items that I occasionally receive. I had to do this - I was buying music like I didn't have to pay rent for a while.
• MAKE NO COMMITMENTS TO SPIN ANY GIGS BETWEEN ASH WEDNESDAY AND EASTER SUNDAY.
  The only exceptions were two parties during March that I committed to before Ash Wednesday.
• NO CLUBBING UNTIL AFTER EASTER SUNDAY.
• 30-45 MINUTE BLOCKS OF TIME A DAY SET ASIDE FOR MUSIC LISTENING.
  That's very little for me. Time would be extended only if I were reviewing an album for OTV or dubbing some music for a friend. This way, I'd be concentrating on someone else's wants and not my own.
• NO MUSIC AT THE JOB.

I also got confirmation on the fact that music doesn't have to be constantly all around me. Every day brings a different soundtrack in my head. I make up techno tracks at work around the busy signals of fax machines trying to send something to Finland. And at home I got reacquainted with pieces of wax that I hadn't heard in a while, and usually ended up saying "damn, I've been sleeping on THIS?!?"

And GOD replied, "see? Why are you in such a rush to get more? RE-EXAMINE WHAT YOU HAVE."

And I did. And I am thankful.

So with that, I encourage you to dig up something you haven't heard in ages. You may hear it with a different ear this time and catch something that you haven't heard before.

"what we gonna do right here is go back…WAYBACK…back into time…"

{jason randall smith}