i'll admit, i feel better now than i did earlier today. several thousand degrees cooler in my brain. no longer a need to leave a trail of bloody carcasses in the snow. but when you're trudging through eight or nine inches of it the night before, your boots completely covered with each step you take, the last place you want to go in the morning is to work. travel went smoother than expected (NYC fared surprisingly well despite the circumstances), but it was still a nuisance. i'm not exactly sure who you have to pay off in the Department of Public Works in the city of Mount Vernon in order to have clean streets, but somebody needs to do them a solid. streets were horrendous, whether walking or driving. i'm working on two hours sleep anyway due to being up the night before long after i was supposed to be asleep, then overslept and missed breakfast (which is guaranteed to make me good and evil all day).

i don't know if i need to tell you this, but customer service is not the best department to work in if you don't even like answering the phones at home. if you don't already hate people, you will more than likely acquire such a hatred about three months into the gig. it's a good thing i don't have morphing powers...otherwise i would have jumped through the phone lines and strangled several teachers and librarians with their own phone cord. it's amazing the things you find you have to do when no other opportunities come around, when it's been six and a half months and you're still looking for steady work, when certain political figures keep telling you that things are getting better in the job market and some companies are still outsourcing work to other countries.

so just exactly how does someone who says he loves God (whom he has not seen) hate people so much (whom he has to deal with everyday)? i plead insanity...as brought on by a four-month bid in customer service. abrasive music helps, though. when in doubt, try Donna Summer. no, not the disco diva, this guy. that and every wednesday breakfast is brought into the office. so two cinnamon donuts and a glass of orange juice was enough to keep me at bay today.

("i don't want people's excuses, i want their money." this was apparently a direct quote from someone at work today. keep in mind that i work for an educational book publisher. who says the smaller companies can't play hardball?)

a melody from a song's been stuck in my head all day: "Prototype" from Andre 3000's The Love Below. i had that song in the mix at Big Sur (upper East Side bar/restaurant/lounge/gallery) when the manager walked in from the storm. "pick up the tempo - this is WAY too slow." there were a total of six people in the place who couldn't have cared what i played, but you don't argue with management. i oblige. he's pleased. i'm happy. and my man enrique comes back to hold down the fort and i take off. that was around 11pm. then the schlep home starts and...well...boots covered in snow...you know the rest...

but now i'm back home with my loving wife and neurotic cat. which is where i wanted to be in the first place. why leave home when you know others bring drama? "paging Dr. Ama, Dr. Ama, you have a urgent matter outside an unsuspecting soul's front door..." Dr. Ama makes house calls regularly at the job.

i was just thinking today...is there such a thing as an edgy Christian? is there ever supposed to be? (you do realize that i'm posing a rhetorical question to myself, right?) if the FOX Network ever decides to do a special called When Christians Attack, expect to see my face flash across the screen at least once. it's said in the Bible that the clay has no business asking the potter "why did you make me this way?" and that the potter can do what they wish with the clay. that's how i know that there's a God and that He has an immeasurable amount of grace and mercy...

cause i'm one stubborn ass ball of clay.