Now Playing: the silence that accompanies a mental quandary...
Topic: spinna steez
A few weeks back, the belt on one of my belt drive turntables snapped. Honestly, I?m surprised it didn?t do that several years earlier. I always took pride in making superior mixes with inferior equipment and this particular turntable was bargain basement, discontinued, and at least ten years old when the belt went bust. But a strange thing has occurred: I don?t feel the need to rush right out and get another one. At least not anytime soon. I hardly have the time to practice mixing at home these days, anyway.
I don?t even think I have the insatiable desire to spin anymore. If I didn?t spin a gig for the next six months, I probably wouldn?t complain. I?m starting to question if I even miss it. Drama with bar managers probably has a lot to do with it. However, last year I had a residency that I was able to hold down for about nine months or so (and had some fun in the process), but organization wasn?t exactly the order of the day and I always felt like I was the last one to know everything. So even when I got what I thought I always wanted - a DJ residency at a bar/club - even that went sour after a while.
I?m at the place where I don?t have to be the one spinning at a party. I?m more than happy being one in the number, gettin? my dance on, spreading positive vibes and showing love for the spinner. Maybe if I did more loft parties or outlaws or parties outside of New York (I still smile when I think of Squeeshee up in Poughkeepsie back in January), the craving to do my thing before a crowd would still be there. Maybe my current job has beaten my ambitions out of me. But I think the day the belt snapped was the day my need to spin music died.
I won?t stop sharing or talking about music ? I couldn?t if I tried. I?ll probably do so on a much more intimate scale. I?m currently making mixes for friends, but they?re the personal kind, not mixes that I create to pass out to everyone. I know I have at least two more of those in me, but I don?t think I?ll continue after that. My last music purchases were in February and I?m still trying to find the time to listen to stuff that I bought or was sent to me a month before that. You know what I?ve been buying lately? DVDs. Not a lot of them ? just enough to know that I prefer staying home to going out.
Clearly I?ve hit a transitional period in my life, as far as music is concerned. It doesn?t scare me, although I do find it a bit strange. I honestly didn?t think that this would happen now. I figured it would happen in another 15 or 20 years from now. I still love music, but it doesn?t seem as important to me as it did about a month and a half ago. Odd?just plain odd. Maybe it?s a sign of growing up, maybe it?s quietly admitting defeat, chronic jadedness, who knows? All I know is that even though I have a ?music must-have? list about seven pages long, it?s not a moral imperative that I chop away at it every month with four new purchases. Or even one, for that matter. Meanwhile, the DVD wish list continues to grow. And the chances of those wants being fulfilled grows by the minute?