Now Playing: Citizen Cope - The Clarence Greenwood Recordings
Topic: the Christian walk
I suppose it was only a matter of time before a blog entry of this nature appeared on the site. Been wanting to write something like this for months, actually.
There?s a gentleman?s club about three doors down from where I work. I?ve been trying to figure out why they?re called gentleman?s clubs. What?s gentlemanly about watching a woman dance on a pole or sticking dollar bills into her G-string?
Further down the street, construction workers bulldoze, jackhammer, block traffic, and make way too much damn noise all day long. During their breaks, they do background checks on every woman that passes by. You know the one: she walks by or they walk by, then they crane their necks to check out her butt. Sometimes they turn around completely so they can get a good stare in. One day, it was like an epidemic: every fourth or fifth guy on the street was doing that to some woman that passed. It didn?t matter if I was just arriving to work, leaving work, or on my lunch break ? it was always the same. Then there are the cave dwellers who feel the need to add some sort of comment afterwards. The fact that the caveman has a severe case of craning neck syndrome is bad enough; then they go and say some stupid ish, too? It?s enough to make you want to run down the street with a spiked ball on a chain and play nutcracker.
I love the summer, but I?m happy it?s getting colder. People are finally putting some clothes back on. This past summer was almost too much for my heart to take. There are some women out here (and young girls, I might add) that make me nervous. Just because GOD made you beautiful doesn?t mean you have to leave little to the imagination. And if I?m not supposed to notice the junk in your trunk, why did you go and buy a pair of jeans with ?hot thing? or ?bootylicious? written across the back side? I was doing pretty well until that phenomenon took place.
Somewhere along the way, the right to exploit one?s self crept into the definition of present-day feminism. That drives my wife absolutely nuts. I can remember walking through Union Square Park during the week of the Republican National Convention and seeing a woman wearing a tank top that read ?weapon of mass seduction.? I couldn?t help but recall a line that Lyrics Born sings in that song ?I Changed My Mind?: ??why the hell you wanna go and advertise?? (Besides that, if you really are such a weapon, you wouldn?t even have to say it: I would be able to sense it.) Later I found out it was one of the slogans emblazoned on undergarments by the Axis of Eve, a female activist group that staged a ?panty raid? protest in another part of the city. The slogans only got more provocative; the one I seem to remember most is ?my cherry for Kerry.? While it certainly looked like an interesting way to address women?s issues, it?s a damn good thing I wasn?t there. It?s the same reason why I?m glad I don?t have Showtime: I?d be watching The L Word for all the wrong reasons.
Human nature is best described by a bumper sticker I once saw: ?Lead me not into temptation ? I can find it by myself.? Internet pornography may as well be kryptonite to the average male, and I include myself when I say that. I?ve probably seen enough flesh in my lifetime to keep a 24-hour adult channel on-air for at least three months straight. Once the visuals enter through your eyes, they attach themselves to a brain cell. They?re stocked away in the A/V section of your mind, ready to be recalled at a moment?s notice. Hundreds upon thousands of positions, poses, moans, and tangled body parts?in your head?on demand.
I?ve only been on this earth for three decades, but I?ve screwed up plenty. The major mistakes have always revolved around trying to be something other than what I am. A hopeless romantic has no business trying to be a stud. But the magazines, videos, and mpegs suggest otherwise. Sooner or later, you begin to project those fantasies onto the females in your life: best friends, co-workers, classmates, church members? That?s when the real trouble starts, especially if you happen to have friends that can project sexual energy from a single hair follicle. All they have to do is walk into a room and the tension?s so thick you could cut it with a carving knife. I?ve had friends and acquaintances like that. It?s the classic moth and flame scenario: even when you know you?ll be consumed by fire, you do something stupid anyway. A thought becomes a word and/or deed that you can?t take back. It?s what you do when God?s love isn?t good enough, when you feel like something?s wrong with you because several others don?t find you desirable.
After a while (and usually a demeaning experience leaving the real you exposed to the very ones you lied to), you have to refocus and recognize who you are. I?m no stud, no player, no porn star?I?m a PRUDE. Regardless of the Victoria?s Secret ads that invite me to see curves, no matter how many men?s magazine covers with various women and different interpretations of the ?come hither? stare, I must walk the walk that stresses the spirit over the skin, how beautiful it is to give yourself to one person for life and making a house a home instead of building a harem. It?s not impossible, but it is extremely difficult to do in this life when all of these external factors are telling you to get primal.
So I do what I can to push the carnal thoughts out, sometimes with the Bible, sometimes with music, sometimes with writing. But two decades plus of pornographic scenarios don?t die easy. You don?t just wake up one day speaking in tongues, cured of carnality forever. It doesn?t make you suddenly forget the name of the website you kept coming back to or the porn star you did random searches for. In a world where adult stars are gaining more access to mainstream channels, you have to step up your game. Any talk of American family values and how this country is a God-fearing nation doesn?t mean jack when pornography is a multi-billion dollar business. Let?s be real.
And while we?re talking about saints and sinners, I?m still trippin? over this Wired News article from a few months back. This pair of pastors are definitely on some subversive stuff and I understand what they?re trying to do, but I don?t know. Back in the day, Jesus hung out with the sinners and showed compassion on them, but these guys show up at adult entertainment expos with bumper stickers that read ?Jesus loves porn stars.? You know you?re in for quite an article when the first sentence talks about a Krispy Kreme employee that masturbates.
(Puts the glazed doughnuts in a whole new perspective, doesn?t it? Just read the damn thing.)