I?ll be the first to admit that I?m somewhat slow on popular culture. On my way home, I pass by a beverage discount center. I stop dead in my tracks when I see this big sticker on the door advertising an energy drink called Crunk, or should I say, ?CRUNK!!!? I probably should have known that Lil? Jon (affectionately referred to in my home as ?Yuckmouth?) was behind this product. Check the ingredients: one of them reads ?black carrot extract (for color).? Did you know black carrots existed? And if you saw one, wouldn?t common sense tell you that maybe it?s something that?s better left alone? Supposedly, it takes like pomegranate, which is probably a good thing. If you?ve seen bottles of Pom in your local supermarket, you know they don?t come cheap. Perhaps Lil? Jon can be credited with bringing the exorbitant flavor of pomegranate to the everyday hood and hoodette.

The thing that made my jaw drop to the floor is the fact that on the bottom of the can it says ?Contains Ashwaganda (Horny Goat Weed).? They CAN?T be serious. And let?s remember that I was in front of a beverage discount center when I saw this, where you can buy it by the can or by the case. Ashwaganda was conspicuously missing from the list of ingredients online, so maybe it?s just a sly marketing ploy. But if Coca-Cola actually contained coke at one point or another in its history, would it really be surprising for Crunk to contain horny goat weed?

Perhaps what I find disturbing about all of this is?somewhere in America there lives a person that decided Nelly?s Pimp Juice just wasn?t enough. I?ve got serious problems with that.