[okay, so long before there was Both Sides Of The Surface, there was a monthly email newsletter called On The Verge, which ran from January 1999-December 2001. a bunch of music reviews written as well as a number of rants. since it's Women's Herstory Month, i figured i'd start off with an early rant of mine in regards to the topic of women. this was originally published in the ON THE VERGE v1.0 e-mail monthly for March 17, 1999. there are references to certain celebrities that will bring home how dated this is. the line about Lauryn Hill is either ironic, dead-on or both, given all that she's been through since this was written...]

the lost writings of testosterone boy

Don't ask me about estrogen. I don't understand it, I don't pretend to understand it, and all of you ladies out there are just gonna have to deal with the fact that most of us men don't, m'kay?

It was about five years ago that I had a dream. I had a dream that GOD was elected president, but the sisterhood had voted for Mother Nature. Her popularity had just about tripled after she had held a fundraiser to get Eve out of jail. Meanwhile, Adam was on Hard Copy talking about how Eve had paid Lorena Bobbitt to "do a little job for her." She had met with Anita Hill earlier the same day.

And right about now, Monica Lewinsky would be asking for her services (no more jokes about her "love handles," please. My ears can't take it).

Jump cut to now: I'm lost in a world of ultra-flesh that is not of my own making. 15 year-old boys gaze longingly at women they will never meet, be they Playboy pin-ups, Victoria's Secret angels, or female celebs that decided to cover up the right spots of their naked selves on the covers of Details or Maxim. In the midst of all of this, I have to wonder how many decided to skip classes on how to be a sex symbol while keeping your clothes on. More than likely, Gillian Anderson would be teaching this course.

Trying to sidestep fleshworld isn't exactly the easiest of all things, but anything to avoid being the typical male. Can you imagine my surprise on that terrible day when I woke up and realized that I was one?

Jump back to five years ago: I turned a street corner only to see Sharon Stone encircled by a group of women. Between giving her swift kicks to the mid-section, they shouted repeatedly, "What were you thinking? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?"

I watched in amazement as Angela Davis stood beside me, shrugged her shoulders and said, "Y'know, she really wasn't helping matters much; the bitch had it comin'." She pointed out towards the street. "Phallus patrol's on the move, brother. They don't take too kindly to Y-chromosomes. You'd better go." Then she threw up a power fist and kept steppin'.

You wanna know what amazes me? When somebody like DMX can stand up on stage in front of tens of thousands and ask "where my bitches at?" and women actually scream with delight. You'd think his dumb ass would get booed off the set, but OH, NO. The ladies in the crowd still said "Ow!" right on cue. WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

And all these years, I wondered why the nice guy never got the girl. Thugs and players got it made. Fellas, it has become apparent to me that if you want a woman to obsess over you, act like she doesn't exist. Ignore her like she's a chain letter. Don't even bother calling her for two weeks.

MAYBE THEN SHE'LL START LIKING YOUR ASS.

But like I said, I ain't the one to ask about the ways of estrogen.

That's about the point when I throw on my headphones. Ear travels bring me to Nina Simone. She doesn't know me from Adam, yet can somehow sing about my pain that I can't even find words for. And Betty Carter brings me out of my darkness with vocal sunshine. And the present-day sirens: Lady Miss Kier, Beth Gibbons, Martina Topley-Bird (yin to Tricky's yang), Bjork, Esthero, Tracey Thorn - each taking my emotions for a different turn.

I'll tell you what I dig - those sistas that's coming full force, making their own music and owning their own labels, like DJ Rap, Miss DJax, The Angel and Nicolette. Sayin' "this is how it should be done for the sisterhood." Women that respond to bass, straight up ball breakers like Riz Maslen and Andrea Parker, creating dark sounds that exorcise their personal demons. And hip-hop females holding their own on the microphone, goin' back to Sha Rock, the Plus One element that was down with the Funky Four. The same feeling when I dote on MC Lyte, Roxanne Shante or Sweet T, on ahead to Apani B-Fly Emcee and the Ladybug Miss Mecca. And whenever Bahamadia speaks, my face is aglow diggin' on that flow - like she's always up to somethin' sinister. or Ursula Rucker closin' out Roots joints with ill urban poetics, heartfelt and introspective.

And as for Lauryn Hill, sista woman is laughing in the face of everyone who told her that she couldn't do it.

The scribes, I'm down with them, too. Read them before I read the brothers: mothers Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison, Nikki Giovanni, bell hooks, Alice Walker, Zora Neale Hurston, Terri McMillan...read 'em all. Got vexed, infuriated and still finished the books.

And the list goes on. Talented sisters, too many to mention.

But, don't ask me to explain estrogen. Me Mars, you Venus, i-ight? It’s like that. I ain't in the mood for no verbal beatdown. It’s hard enough dealing with my own hormone, for real.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

dear sisterhood -

i'm sorry that i haven't always treated you the way that i should have (Lord knows i haven't), but never let it be said that i haven't given you the props that were due you. when you need a ear, you know where i'm at. oh yeah, one more thing...

DID YOU ALL DECIDE TO TAKE UP TAE BO AT ONCE????

{jason randall smith}

this is my new buzz word in regards to both sides of the surface. visually, the site represents what happens when you have a basic knowledge of html, but your real passion is writing and talking about music. you don't have to tell me that the site's unwieldy - i already know. i'm a blog-centered person. it's easier to maintain and more personal and immediate.

so i envision holy war in the mental being the place where the action is, meaning that i want to slowly relocate the rants and reviews into the blog. right now, it just makes sense to me. so we'll start it off with some older rants from the On The Verge newsletter days (B.B. - Before BSOTS) for Women's Herstory Month, then follow it up with some writings based around the Lenten season - also some archived material. plus it gives me an excuse to revisit all this old writing. same for the reviews, too - there's some older stuff that got reviewed a while back that's now available digitally, so it'll be good to resurrect some blurbs on those releases and give them some much-deserved shine.

all in attempts to make this online humble abode of mine "blogcentric". (dag nabbit, i like that word.) stay tuned...

here's part two...just managed to squeeze it in before march first comes and dark-shaded souls aren't important for another 365 days. some rock, some soul, some hip-hop. from the sublime to the surreal to the just plain scary (you'll know it when you hear it...). i think the actual title of the blackalicious joint is "your move" instead of "you move," but i only go by what they tell me in the pmn.

speaking of which, the network features a version of bettye lavette's "let me down easy" (the beautitful closer of this podcast) that i can't seem to find anywhere else. did a search of sister's lavette's albums on amazon.com, but only found a live version and an uptempo version for the clubs. and it's not on her album from last year, I've Got My Own Hell To Raise. that one's on some cover tune/redefining soul concept album type stuff, where lavette takes on works from singer-songwriters like sinead o'connor, aimee mann, and others. thought i could find some information at epitaph, since they released that album. but bettye's profile and discography isn't even up there yet. they're making it hard for a brother that wants to come correct for the listeners.

so for now, the whereabouts of the version i played are unknown to me. my apologies. any soul scholars wanna help a brother out, please do...

download ||| subscribe

qpe*mcgarrett (buy it at bleep.com)
blackalicious*your move (feat. life savas) (buy it at amazon.com)
teba, crosby & red lion*blackness anthem
phil moore browne*occupants of dead space
wade austin*who bears the love (buy it at luv-productions.com)
pesa #2 (psa from public enemy)
dalek*classical homicide (get the MP3 here)
bettye lavette*let me down easy

background music:
qpe*milk (buy it at bleep.com)
madlib*understanding (comprehension)

other key info: afropunk documentary, hoodhype podcast, daily source code

this show is a result of seeing what i could do about celebrating black history month and doing it via podsafe music. i think i fared better than i thought i would; this will definitely be a two-parter. still not entirely sure how i feel about this show. maybe it's my bad mood, maybe it's being really hard on myself, maybe it's being REALLY upset over dilla's death. actually, i feel like i talked way too damn much on this show, but what's done is done.

this podcast includes hip-hop, soul, drum and bass, and some leftfield electronics. the show was pretty much recorded when i found out about Jay Dee - totally shocked. so i recorded a brief statement in light of that, which serves as the introduction for the show. also, the roy ayers song is not called "soul in the whole," but "funk in the hole." with that said, let's get started...

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in memoriam: james yancey aka jay dee/j dilla
nadir*the revolution is now (buy it at cdbaby.com)
hired gun*dedication
jadox*it does not compute (feat. mane azeem)
j dilla*airworks (buy it at itunes)
roy ayers*funk in the hole (platinum pied pipers remix) (buy it at rapster records)
nadir*superstar (buy it at cdbaby.com)
daniel givens*light travel (fetch the future) (buy it at bleep.com)
sankofa bass project*on the mountain top
theory*the towers

background music:
qpe - until
soundscraper - forty days fortified knights

other key info: voxunion.com, nadir's official website

i'll keep it brief: a number of articles this month worth checking out...

Michael Eric Dyson turned in something special this month in tribute to MLK. be on the lookout for what sounds like an eye-opening documentary on hip-hop. it's a perspective that needs to be told. the fact that a brother's taking the lead this time shows hope for the hip-hop masses yet.

can't believe we've lost three great men of soul: two of them singers, another a songwriter. finally, inspired by the latest rolling stone magazine cover, sister rosa clemente penned an article in regards to Jesus, hip-hop, and kanye west. sigh...i get the point, but i'm more than skeptical (as evidenced by my response to the article found in the comments section).

this show concludes the 2005 overview while still allowing a few songs from other years to sneak in and be a part of the fun. click here to download the show.

show notes are as follows:
ekayani and the healing band*lazy afternoon sun (buy at CDBaby.com)
david last*the push pull (buy at bleep.com)
baba israel and yako*state of emergency
tricky*antimatter (buy at amazon.com)
roche/louis*sizzle (buy at solosrecords.com)
lovespirals*love survives (buy it at lovespirals.com)
speak*essence (evan stone's pmn link)

other key info: the femm nameless, bleeps-oh-six compilation, macedonia's faves of 2005

wanted to make sure i got around to writing about albums and songs that stayed on my turntable, in my CD/media player, or just got stuck in my head this year. for some of the choices, i'll include links to where you can stream or download songs. collect them all and you'll have a BSOTS best of 2005 online mix tape of sorts. can't say no to free music, right? plus, hopefully it'll help lead you to some works you may not be familiar with or encourage you to drop dollars on a release you may have been curious about. i would also provide a list of releases i didn't get around to, but why depress myself like that? let's do this...

THE ALBUMS I ADORED

MARK DE CLIVE-LOWE - Tide's Arising [ABB Soul]
everything that this man's been involved in, i've liked. *Tide's Arising* does not disappoint. uptempo and downbeat future soul that keeps the body and the brain engaged. check "Slide," "Heaven," and "State Of The Mental" for the best moments.
click here to stream or download "Heaven"

DANGERDOOM - The Mouse and The Mask [Epitaph]
when i first learned about the heavy use of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup on this project, i thought somebody was joking. somehow or another, Dangermouse made it work. as for MF Doom, to call him a clever wordsmith is putting it lightly. Doom's just sick, a rhyme sayer that will always have you hitting the rewind button just so you can make sure he said what you think he said. yeah, this one's a keeper.

FULL - Desperandum [Handpicked/Madpeeps]
the "rocktronic charismob" tightens up its game and manages to make an accessible avant-pop album with rock guitars firmly in hand while losing none of the free jazz sensibility that made their previous effort so engaging. lead vocalist Ms. Wings is a star that shines even brighter on this release. the whole world needs to know about this band.

JNEIRO JAREL - Three Piece Puzzle [Ropeadope]
Brooklyn native. Philly resident. MC/DJ/producer. it's insane how great this album is. somewhere between A Tribe Called Quest at their pinnacle and the finest moments from Madlib's catalog is Jneiro Jarel. no lie. go cop this joint. NOW.

DAVID LAST - The Push Pull [theAgriculture]
whimsical and just plain fun, David Last's debut channels dub through demented dancehall and carnival-style hip-hop beats. expect the unexpected.

JAMIE LIDELL - Multiply [Warp] - UK
never would i have expected an album like this from one-half of Super Collider. a wonderful mix of past, present and future soul, and Jamie gets kudos for crooning his ass off. sounding like an updated version of a Michael Jackson/Quincy Jones collaboration one minute, then classic Stax Records 45s the next. brilliant.
click here to stream or download "When I Come Back Around"

M.I.A. - Arular [XL]
perhaps my wife said it best while watching M.I.A.'s backup dancers shake their rumps across Central Park's Summerstage: "she's not a revolutionary...she's the daughter of a revolutionary." point taken. even so, this remains one of the best political/party albums to come out in a long time. my joints include "Galang," "Sunshowers," "Bucky Done Gun," and "$10."

NNNJ - Monkey Straddle [theAgriculture]
perhaps the strongest release from theAgriculture in 2005, this debut album from Nnnj bowls you over with shape-shifting maturity. jazz-inspired dub occasionally flirting with hip-hop rhythm structures, a number of the songs almost take on an otherworldly quality. words are hard to come by, but it makes more sense with each and every listen.

NOUVELLE VAGUE - (self-titled) [Luaka Bop]
here's another project that could've fallen flat on its face if it wasn't handled correctly. take two guys with a love for '80s synth-pop and punk tunes, throw in some vocalists and have them sing the lyrics to said tunes (even though they never heard the originals), then dress it up in a cocktail lounge background. doesn't sound good on paper, does it? do yourself a favor and listen to it anyway - it's great. covers of Joy Division, Depeche Mode, The Cure, and a bunch of others. guilty pleasure of the year.

PREFUSE 73 - Surrounded By Silence [Warp] - UK
some weren't down with this album, claiming that producer Scott Herren got his pseudonyms mixed up and spiked his Prefuse 73 efforts with too much Savath & Savalas. perhaps that's because this album represents Herren's most kaleidoscopic view of hip-hop yet, as well as his most star-studded. while the representation of MCs is strong on this effort (El-P, Ghostface, Beans, Aesop Rock, GZA, Masta Killa...), some of the best collaborations are with The Books, Claudia & Alejandra Deheza, and Tyondai Braxton.
click here to stream "Hideyaface"

PLATINUM PIED PIPERS - Triple P [Ubiquity]
one of the best hip-hop soul full-lengths to drop in who knows how long. Wajeed and Saadiq bring their A-game on this one. special guests include Sa-Ra, J-Dilla, Tiombe Lockhart, Georgia Anne Muldrow, and others. fantastic.

ROOTS MANUVA - Awfully Deep [Big Dada] - UK
while nothing on here isn't as career-defining as his underground classic "Witness (1 Hope)," Awfully Deep has all the elements to make this Manuva's breakout album. clever rhymes, tight beats, and choruses that stay in your head for weeks on end. further proof of why Americans have no business frontin' on UK hip-hop any longer.

SOUND DIRECTIONS - The Funky Side of Life [Stones Throw]
possibly Madlib's finest moment this year. an offshoot of the Yesterday's New Quintet project, the Beat Konducta leads a jam session featuring members of Breakestra, Antibalas, the Dap-Kings, and others introducing original tunes and remaking sampled classics. if you needed any reminder that jazz is Madlib's first love, here you go.

STEVE SPACEK - Space Shift [Sound In Color]
lead vocalist for the group Spacek comes through with his solo debut. slightly more down to earth than what he does with Spacek, but still miles ahead of a lot of soul releases out there. beats supplied by GB, J-Dilla, and Spacek himself.
click here to stream or download "Dollar"

DWIGHT TRIBLE & THE LIFE FORCE TRIO - Love Is The Answer [Ninja Tune] - UK
much props to Carlos Nino for getting brother Trible together with the best in present-day beat-making. spiritual jazz vocals float over head-nodding rhythm structures supplied by Madlib, Sa-Ra, Daedalus, J-Dilla, and Nino. Absolutely stellar.

THE SONGS THAT GOT STUCK IN MY HEAD...AND DIDN'T MIND...

THE ALMIGHTY K.O. - "George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People" [MP3]
the fact that it uses the instrumental for Kanye's "Gold Digger" (another song that got stuck in my head throughout 2005) is only half the story. made in response to President Bush's actions during the Hurricane Katrina crisis, K.O. comes correct with humor undercutting the anger. sometimes you need to laugh to keep from crying, and clearly K.O. understands this. even better than Mos Def's "Katrina Klap."

BLOC PARTY - "Tulips" [Dim Mak]
this song wasn't on their EP, nor did it appear on their Silent Alarm full-length. the tenderness and sensitive interplay between the band members on this song makes it one of the strongest in their catalog.

BOARDS OF CANADA - "Chromakey Dreamcoat" [Warp] - UK
i have yet to hear the latest album by BOC, but if the rest of it holds up to this song, it'll make for quite a session.
click here to stream or download this song...

CAURAL - "She's Everywhere I Look" [Consumers Research and Development]
i hold Caural (real name Zachary Mastoon) in the same regard as someone like Prefuse 73. this piece taken from the Hazardous Materials compilation is proof positive of his mind-blowing talent. heavy drums, melancholy piano, and dreamy, meditative chords equals continuous rewinds.
click here to download or stream this song...

COMMON - "The Corners" [Geffen]
i could try frontin' on this one, but it's no use - the minute Kanye's production kicks in, i'm head noddin' HARD. plus Common sounds hungry on the mic again. and it never hurts to have The Last Poets put in their two cents as well. this is how a single from an album is supposed to sound...

DARONDO - "Didn't I" [Ubiquity]
of the three songs i've heard so far from the Gilles Peterson Digs America compilation, "Didn't I" stays on lock in my head. it's the ultimate soul slow jam, and i can't believe that no one's unearthed this one already - it's too pretty to stay unnoticed. straight up - this is baby makin' music right here...

EDAN - "Fumbling Over Words That Rhyme" [Lewis]
taken from his Beauty And The Beat full-length, Mr. Humble Magnificent schools us with a positive education in hip-hop MCs. probably one of my favorite hip-hop songs of 2005. (side note: don't sleep on the track "Torture Chamber" either, featuring a hungry-as-hell Percee P on the mic...)

FOUR TET - "Smile Around The Face" [Domino]
Kieran Hebden nailed it with this one. swirls of sonic happiness shower down on you everytime you play it. absolutely impossible to be in a bad mood when this one's on - song titles don't lie.

JAMIROQUAI - "Feels Just Like It Should" [Epic]
the lead single off Dynamite, Jay Kay and company still manage to surprise. the song's a spaced-out, guitar-driven good time. some still weren't convinced, so Sa-Ra came in and worked their magic with a remix. either version will do.

KOUSHIK - "Be With" [Stones Throw]
some focus on the brilliance of Madlib to the extent of overlooking the rest of Stones Throw's roster. if you do, you'll miss out on great artists like Koushik. "Be With" brings the harmonies of '60s psychedelic rock into hip-hop's playground. gorgeous doesn't even begin to describe it...

LITTLE BROTHER - "Lovin' It (feat. Joe Scudda) [ABB]
Phonte Coleman, Big Pooh, and 9th Wonder just kept bringing it to us. This single from their major label debut The Minstrel Show is essential head nod material.

M.E.D. - "Nightlife" [Stones Throw]
produced by Madlib for the Push Comes To Shove album, this joint should've been stamped heavy rotation on mainstream urban radio stations across the country. M.E.D. sounds great on this one and the beat compliments him nicely.

OUT HUD - "One Life To Leave (A Requiem)" [Kranky]
featuring members of !!!, this was the rockin' rumpshaker of the year. slinky synths, killer female vocals, and a bassline that kept you movin'. hearing this was all you needed to hear to know that the album was gonna be the bomb.
click here to download or stream an alternate version of this song...

TV ON THE RADIO - "Dry Drunk Emperor" [MP3]
between the war in Iraq and Hurricane Katrina, TVOTR was given plenty to write about. and it all came out in one brilliant composition. blazing guitars, vocal harmonies that evoked pain, anger, and even a glimmer of hope. just...plain...beautiful.
click here to download or stream this song...

Z-TRIP - "Breakfast Club (feat. Murs and Supernatural)" [Hollywood]
taken from Z-Trip's debut album - a reminder that rap joints are supposed to be fun. smiles are Kool-Aid wide when this one's on the soundsystem. rhymin' about breakfast cereals and saturday morning cartoons...now, that's what i'm talkin' about...
click here to download or stream this song...

a few days ago, beth went to pick up morphy's ashes from the animal hospital. she called me up at work completely distraught. "i should never have come here alone," she sobbed. it took a couple of minutes for her to regain her composure so that she could drive home.

i can't quite believe that a cat that once took up most of the bed whenever he stretched out now fits into a tiny tin can. 11 years ago, i would've scoffed at the idea of mourning over a cat. but everytime i get home and i instinctively look up at the third floor window expecting to see him, that's how i know i want him back just as much as beth does.

i miss him. a lot.

the first podcast of the new year and we're storming out the gate. click here to download. show notes are as follows:

intro: macey's new year resolution
audion - rubber (buy it on iTunes)
christian walt - promise
koushik - be with (buy it on iTunes)
a.b.e. (anthems of a bygone era) - latin groove (on the pmn)
3rd party - freestyle
tv on the radio - dry drunk emperor

radio bsots updates include the voice mail line (206-202-2298) and the myspace page.

six days into the New Year and already we lose a great one...my main man Lou Rawls...to cancer.

my wife's gonna be devastated.