Now Playing: solace...several states away from home...
"peace: it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." -unknown.
to the left of me is a pool, sunlight glistening through the ripples of the water. there is a dog named max, unbelievably loyal and persistent for grabbing attention, nudging your hand when they want to be pet. there is a cat named keisha, a sweet siberian feline with long hair, orange and white. she kills lizards in her spare time, thereby proving that it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for. there are beautiful houses on waterfront property and several beaches within close driving distance of each other. and there is my wonderful wife, 3.5 months pregnant with child, glowing and happy, away from the madness of her morning commute, if only for a week.
i feel the same. i was in the midst of media overload - email, myspace, and otherwise - that would cause heart palpitations to start. never mind the job which is taking a year off of my life for every month that i spend there.
beth and i are currently in englewood, fl visiting her aunt and uncle. perhaps the most vivid memory so far is the sunset of siesta beach, watching the sun kiss the horizon and slowly disappear while a drum circle occurs opposite the vivid colors of the sky. men, women, and children of all ages inside the circle dancing and having fun.
i'm experiencing a peace that i have not felt since my honeymoon - cancun, november of 1999. it feels good. and i don't even care that it's going to end on friday. that doesn't even matter to me. just the fact that i took a real vacation this time, not time off from the job to get chores done around the house, but time off to shut down, to detox, to not think about anything, or at other times to consider the possibilities about my life, my career, and how to make things happen for the better.
i'm happy right now. and i'm sure that monday (along with the customers and the co-workers) will do everything it can to rip the happiness away from me. so what? that's what it was designed to do. all i know is that when my feet touch down in new york state, the project to reinvent myself careerwise must commence. and in the meantime, remind myself what's good about myself and what's really important in life. this vacation is bringing all of that into focus.
don't wait for things to be perfect to reenergize: you'll be waiting forever. do it as soon and as often as you can. life is filled with parasites of many forms, all of them fighting for the chance to suck away your lifeblood first. the least you can do for yourself is to get away for a moment's peace. since the world is relentless in trying to take your joy away from you, doesn't it make sense to be just as relentless in finding ways to keep it?
news flash: that's not selfish. that's a SURVIVAL TACTIC.
"people in life who are the happiest don't have the best of everything...
they make the best of everything they have."
- quote on aunt angie's computer monitor.